In real estate, words are your most powerful tool. Knowing when to speak and what to say can be the difference between a client who hesitates and a client who closes. Over the years, I’ve studied the language patterns of top-producing agents, tested thousands of scripts and seen firsthand how a few well-chosen words can shift a conversation, build trust and move a deal forward, so agents can close more deals.
These five simple phrases have helped me and countless agents I coach win more listings, close more buyers and lead to more cooperative transactions with other agents. You can drop them into nearly every situation you face and watch how quickly the tone changes.
Phrase No. 1: ‘Tell me more’
Three words that completely change the energy of a conversation. When you say, “Tell me more,” you’re signaling two things:
- You’re listening.
- You care.
This phrase invites your client to expand, which gives you the information and the emotional connection you need to serve them better.
With sellers
At the listing appointment:
“Tell me more about the remodel you did in this kitchen.”
This technique allows them to brag a little. They feel heard and proud, and you learn what to highlight in your marketing.
When uncovering motivation:
“Tell me more about your plans once we sell this home.”
You’ll hear their real reason for selling, whether it is downsizing, job relocation or family. This gives you a focal point of why they desire to sell, so you can anchor back to it later if negotiations get tough.
When clarifying urgency:
“Tell me more about why it’s so important to sell before year-end.”
Suddenly, you understand deadlines, tax implications or timing pressure you might not have known. This process also allows you to understand their motivation and the reason they are urgent about selling in a specific time period.
With buyers
Understanding motivation:
“Tell me more about why buying now makes the most sense.”
You’ll uncover who’s influencing them (a parent, lender or boss) and what factors matter most to them, whether they are rates, schools or their job commute.
Digging into must-haves:
“Tell me more about why having a pool (or fourth bedroom) is important.”
They might reveal family plans, lifestyle goals or emotional triggers that help you find the perfect fit.
Clarifying timeline:
“Tell me more about why you need to close before July.”
The story behind the deadline is often the key to serving them at the highest level.
This tiny phrase deepens relationships and identifies their true motivation faster than almost anything else you can say.
Phrase No. 2: ‘Whose idea was it to … ?’
This one came from Andrew Undem, a top agent in Baltimore, Maryland, and it’s brilliant for building instant rapport. It’s part curiosity, part humor and part validation, and it works with both buyers and sellers.
With sellers
Compliment a spouse:
“Whose idea was it to paint the living room this color?”
When you are told whose idea it was, look at the person who didn’t have the idea and say,
“[Name of spouse whose idea it wasn’t], I have to tell you, [name of spouse whose idea it was] was spot on with this idea.”
You’ve just complimented their spouse and their taste in design and built rapport.
Affirm a smart decision:
“Whose idea was it to buy this place back in 2019?”
Then:
“That was one of the best decisions you could’ve made; look how much equity you’ve built.”
People love to be reminded that they made good choices.
When they hire you:
“Whose idea was it to call me to take a look at your home?”
Then tell them:
“This was a smart move and one I truly appreciate because I love helping homeowners like you sell for top dollar.”
It breaks the ice, lightens the mood and shows confidence without arrogance.
With buyers
During a consult:
“Whose idea was it to start shopping now?”
When they tell you whose idea it was, look at the person who didn’t have the idea and say:
“[Name of spouse whose idea it wasn’t], I have to tell you, when [name of spouse whose idea it was] got the ball rolling on the two of you looking to buy a home now, I believe you will look back and realize it was one of the best decisions the two of you will ever make.”
Location choice:
“Whose idea was it to focus on this area?”
Then explain why you agree with their choice based on schools, amenities, investment upside or whatever reason you believe it is a great choice for them.
When they reach out to you:
“Whose idea was it to call me to help you find your next home?”
Then match their decision with your passion:
“That was a great choice; I love helping families like yours find the perfect fit.”
Every “Whose idea … ” question gives clients a small ego boost and turns the interaction from transactional to personal.
Phrase No. 3: ‘What do you love about … ?’
People buy and sell based on emotion, then justify it with logic. This phrase taps directly into their emotion.
With sellers
Understanding the home’s story:
“What do you love most about this home?”
Their answer tells you which features to highlight in your marketing copy and social posts.
Uncovering the “why”:
“What do you love about what’s next for you after selling?”
They’ll tell you what they’re excited about. It may be downsizing, freedom or being near family. Understanding what they are looking forward to after the sale will help you keep the focus throughout the process on the results that matter the most to them.
Neighborhood insights:
“What have you loved about living in this area?”
You’ll gather authentic language you can reuse in your listing description, and they’ll feel like you’re listening at a deeper level.
With buyers
At a showing:
“What do you love about this house?”
When they answer, they often convince themselves. It’s a subtle but powerful closing cue.
When exploring areas:
“What do you love about this neighborhood compared to the last one?”
That helps you dial in on their true priorities and reduce wasted showings.
With first-timers:
“What do you love about the idea of buying instead of renting?”
You’ll learn what’s motivating them. Whether it is equity, security or the pride of ownership, you’ll learn their motivation, and you can tailor your advice to their desires accordingly.
Every “What do you love about … ” question helps clients talk themselves into clarity and often into action.
Phrase No. 4: ‘What would you like to do?’
This one’s my personal favorite. It’s simple and empowering and gives the buyer or seller the opportunity to make a decision. It works because it hands control back to the client. When people feel in control, they make faster, more confident decisions.
With sellers
Presenting an offer:
“Now that we’ve gone over this offer, we have three options. We can accept it, reject it or counter it. Based on what I’ve shown you, what would you like to do?”
You’ve given options and provided context, and now they feel ownership of the decision.
Negotiation gap:
“We’re $5,000 apart. For perspective, if you don’t accept it, and you absolutely can reject it, you’re essentially buying your own home at this price hoping to sell it for $5,000 more. What would you like to do?”
It reframes the decision and gets deals unstuck.
Pre-agreeing to a price adjustment:
“If we go three weeks without strong showings, it’s the market telling us we’re overpriced. My suggestion would be that we schedule a price reduction for that time. If that happens, what would you like to do?”
You’ve already paved the way for a future price change and avoided conflict later.
With buyers
At the showing:
“I can tell you love this house. The next logical step is making an offer. What would you like to do?”
A direct but gentle bridge from interest to action.
Inspection stage:
“The inspection came back with repairs over the repair limit. We have three choices. We can ask the seller to fix everything, ask them to meet us halfway or handle it ourselves. They then have the ability to say yes, no or counter our offer. Based on what’s best for you, what would you like to do?”
It communicates partnership, not pressure.
After an appraisal shortfall:
“The appraisal came in low. We can bring the difference in cash, renegotiate or walk away. What would you like to do?”
By guiding instead of pushing, you empower clients to decide, and most will choose the logical path forward for themselves.
Phrase No. 5: ‘I understand where you’re coming from’
This phrase diffuses tension faster than any negotiation tactic I know. It builds empathy while keeping you in control of the conversation.
With sellers
Let’s say your seller insists on listing above market value even after you’ve shown the comps. Try this:
“I understand where you’re coming from. When I sell my own home, I want the highest price possible too. But based on the data, help me understand why a buyer would pay more than what similar homes are selling for or what I anticipate the appraisal will support.”
You’ve validated their feelings, then gently returned to logic. They feel heard, not challenged.
With buyers
Maybe your buyer wants to make an unrealistically low offer.
“I understand where you’re coming from. When I buy property, I love getting a deal too. But sometimes an offer that’s too low can sour the negotiation before it starts. Tell me what makes this strategy feel right to you.”
They’ll either justify their reasoning, which helps you tailor your response, or realize on their own that it’s risky.
With other agents
This one’s especially powerful agent-to-agent. Suppose a listing agent counters well above the comps.
“I understand where you’re coming from, wanting to get your sellers the best price possible. My buyers are struggling to see the value at that number. What could I share with them that would help them understand your seller’s position?”
Now you’ve turned a potential argument into collaboration. Deals get done when both sides feel respected.
The bottom line
Great agents don’t win by talking the most. They win by asking the right questions and using the right phrases at the right time.
These five phrases are simple, repeatable and adaptable to any situation.
Used consistently, they’ll help you:
- Build faster trust with clients
- Handle objections more smoothly
- Create collaboration instead of confrontation
- And close more deals with less friction
In real estate, the right words don’t just change conversations; they change outcomes.
This post was updated Feb. 11, 2026.
