A crucial choice agents make early in their real estate careers is how to attract and negotiate with future clients. The question is, will they fall into the antiquated, self-serving “me-me-me” approach or embrace the client-centric model that prioritizes the client’s needs?
This pivotal decision influences how they will interact with clients starting on Day 1 — and throughout their real estate careers.
When I was executive director of training for Jon Douglas Company, Jon (Jack) Douglas would always attend the first day of our live, two-week new agent sales training and explain the company’s philosophy, embodied in our tagline, “The Sign of Respect.”
Douglas said that when he started the company, he made the commitment that regardless of whether our agents represented a $50,000 or $50 million client, every one of our clients deserved to receive the highest, most professional level of service that the company and its agents could provide. A critical component of delivering on that commitment was having the best-trained agents in the business.
The cult of the agent
The cult of the agent, the “me-me-me” show, has been around since the 1990s. This includes the old-school approach that was often referred to as “Hunt ’em, tell ’em, and sell ’em.” In other words, chase leads down by cold calling and door knocking, tell them how great you and your company are, and then hard close them to sign the listing agreement or purchase contract.
How does the ‘me-me-me’ show up today?
Here are some classic examples that illustrate how widespread this approach still is today.
The personal brochure or puff piece about you and your business
The following paragraph was taken from a marketing letter that arrived along with a four-page brochure that had multiple pictures of the agent and her lifestyle. Can you spot what’s wrong with this paragraph from that marketing piece?
“I just wanted to take a moment to say how much I value you. Building relationships is what gives me the greatest satisfaction in my career. I have enclosed a personal brochure about me and my business philosophy. I hope that you will take a few moments to read it. I want you to feel comfortable calling me if you have any real estate questions.”
Were you able to identify the me-me-me problem?
In case you weren’t counting, there are 11 references to “I,” “me” or “my.”
What consumers think about ‘me-me-me’ marketing postcards
Several years ago, I chatted with Steve Kantor of Best Agent Business, who had surveyed 1,000 homeowners about their responses to the types of print marketing materials they received from real estate agents.
Here are four examples of their responses that make it very clear how they feel about the “me-me-me” type of marketing materials they received.
- In terms of postcards with the agent’s pictures on them: “They are totally useless. Photographs of agents are especially irrelevant to their purpose.”
- “I’m also really turned off by cards and brochures that feature your spouse, kids, church affiliations, etc.”
- “Offers for free home evaluations — I just toss those, too.
- “Why do agents always have to include their picture? Who do they think they are — movie stars?”
How to eliminate ‘me-me-me’ from your print and digital marketing
Substitute ‘you’ for ‘I’ and ‘me’
Regardless of whether you’re writing a copy for a newspaper ad, a brochure, a postcard, your website or social media, shift from using “I” language to using “you” language. In other words, make it about your recipient rather than about you.
Take your picture off your marketing materials
The moment you put your picture on your marketing pieces, it makes that piece about you, not the person receiving it. A better approach is to use a QR code or link to your website, where the person who wants to know more about your listing can access the information.
QR codes are particularly effective for two reasons. First, when the prospect scans the QR code, they immediately receive the information they wanted, whether it’s a property brochure, equity checkup or some other type of value-add marketing piece.
Second, the moment the prospect scans the QR code with their phone, the agent receives that person’s contact information. This makes it possible for agents to follow up, often while the prospect is still at the property.
Make your marketing pieces about the lifestyle in the area
If you plan on using pictures on your marketing pieces, focus on illustrating the lifestyle in the market. If the agent in the example above had included pictures of past clients or of someone other than herself enjoying the lifestyle in her market area, she would have had a much more effective marketing piece.
Follow the 90-10 rule for all social media posts
When it comes to posting on social media, the 90-10 rule is a proven approach that you should follow: 90 percent of your social media posts should be responses or comments on posts made by others, and only 10 percent should be about you and/or your business.
Don’t tell them you’re the expert in your area — show them
A great way for an agent to become a local neighborhood expert is to conduct video interviews.
For example, interview the head of the planning commission, the local football coach, the owner of the most popular pizza place in town, etc. If you participate in charitable fundraising, interview volunteers. Post your videos on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and on your website to establish your expertise not only locally but online as well.
Provide potential clients with the information they want
Here are two headlines that you can use in your print, digital and social media marketing.
- “Why these properties sold in less than 7 days.”
- “Three reasons these properties sold over asking price.”
You can explain this in a social media post, on your website, or in a short video that you post on Instagram or YouTube.
Which choice will you make?
Whether you’re a newbie or a 40-year veteran, today’s consumers have no use for “me-me-me” marketing and negotiation tactics.
Instead, agents should embrace client-centric approaches that include making their marketing materials about the client, following the 90-10 rule for posting on social media, becoming the local neighborhood expert by providing insightful local content creation, and avoiding “I” and “me” language in their marketing.
By implementing these changes, agents can avoid falling into the me-me-me trap and build a long-lasting, successful real estate career.
This article was last updated Jan. 28, 2026.
Bernice Ross, president and CEO of BrokerageUP and RealEstateC
